Alright, buckle up, because I just stumbled upon a cinematic gem from 2013 that had me in stitches – “A Haunted House”! Forget the jump scares; this is like the “Scary Movie” crew decided to host a stand-up comedy show in a haunted house. With a modest $2.5 million budget, it raked in a whopping $60.5 million, and now it’s experiencing a full-blown online renaissance. Even the director of “M3GAN 2.0” admitted it was a source of inspiration!
A Mockumentary Masterpiece Gone Hilariously Wrong
While “Paranormal Activity” was busy trying to genuinely scare us, “A Haunted House” turned the horror genre into a comedic playground. Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) discovers his girlfriend is possessed and, naturally, whips out his phone to live-stream the exorcism! From quirky priests to “scientific ghost hunters,” a parade of oddballs tries to help. We’re talking vacuum cleaners sucking up spirits, iPhones measuring paranormal activity, and even the iconic head-spinning from “The Exorcist” turned into a viral TikTok trend.
The best part? The movie’s spot-on commentary on the found-footage genre. When Malcolm asks the ghost, “Why are you possessing my girlfriend?” the camera cuts to the ghost scrolling on a phone: “Because you humans make too many mockumentaries; I want to go viral too!” This fourth-wall-breaking moment is comedy gold.
The Most Unorthodox Exorcism Crew Ever
Malcolm’s exorcism team is a comedy dream team:
- The Bean-esque Priest: Cedric the Entertainer as a pastor who munches on popcorn while reciting scripture and whips out coupons during the exorcism: “Get 20% off our exorcism package!”
- The Mad Scientist: A lab coat-wearing expert uses a microwave to detect paranormal activity, only to end up roasting the ghost, who screams, “Too hot!”
- The Ghostly Ex-Girlfriend: A former flame returns as a vengeful spirit, but her haunting is interrupted when Malcolm’s selfie stick ruins her angle: “That’s a terrible shot of me!”
Even Annabelle from “The Conjuring” makes a cameo. When Malcolm tries to smash the doll, she cries, “Don’t break me! I haven’t made my TikTok yet!” The absurdity is off the charts.
A 9% Rotten Tomatoes Score? Audiences Can’t Get Enough!
Critics might have panned it (9% on Rotten Tomatoes), but audiences gave it a B- CinemaScore, and it even outscored “Final Destination 5” on Douban! Why?
- Subverted Expectations: Instead of jump scares, the ghost breaks into “Gangnam Style,” turning a terrifying scene into a dance-off.
- Black Humor at Its Finest: Malcolm quips to his girlfriend, “You look scarier possessed than when my mom sees my report card!” The relatable humor hits hard.
- Easter Egg Overload: As the credits roll, a ghost job ad pops up: “Seeking evil spirits, benefits included, weekends off. Contact us…” The unexpected twist is pure genius.
Looking Back: Details That Are Surprisingly Relevant
- Prophetic Director: The movie features ads for “A Haunted House 2” in 2025, and guess what? There is a “Haunted House 2” coming out in 2025! While it’s unrelated to the original, the connection is mind-blowing.
- Actor Cameos: Marlon Wayans, who plays Malcolm, is rebooting the “Scary Movie” franchise in 2025! Expect to see the same comedic style from “A Haunted House” dialed up to eleven.
- A Time Capsule: The constant use of iPhone 4s and the YouTube interface are a hilarious reminder of 2013 internet culture. It’s retro humor at its best.
Who Should Watch This?
- Horror Movie Buffs: You’ll appreciate the nods to classics like “The Exorcist” and “The Conjuring.” It’s a crash course in horror movie tropes.
- Stressed-Out Workers: Ninety minutes of non-stop laughs. It’s more therapeutic than a stand-up show. Pair with popcorn and screams for best results.
- Marlon Wayans Fans: He delivers a masterclass in “Black humor.” Even The Hollywood Reporter admitted, “His performance saves the movie.”
This underrated gem is experiencing a resurgence on platforms like Bilibili and TikTok. People are turning exorcism scenes into remixes, using AI to dub the ghosts, and even “Genshin Impact” players are debating what would happen if Paimon got possessed. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this “haunted house stand-up show” is guaranteed to lift your spirits!
Let’s Discuss: What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? If you could design a haunted house, what funny elements would you include? Let your creativity run wild in the comments!
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