American Pie: The Wedding - A Celebration of the Absurd
“American Pie: The Wedding” isn’t just good; it’s a comedic masterpiece that deserves all the praise it gets. It’s a litmus test for misanthropes, revealing their true nature like a urine analysis reveals health conditions. Its brilliance lies not only in its unabashedly raunchy humor but also in its ability to reduce intellect to the level of bodily waste. If you harbor such a deep dislike for humanity that you’re tempted to reach for a weapon, this third installment of “American Pie” serves as a perfect, bloodless alternative.
The perpetually awkward Jim (Jason Biggs) has finally decided to marry his somewhat dim-witted girlfriend, Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). He takes her to a restaurant to propose, but forgets the ring. He stalls for time, waiting for his ever-supportive dad (Eugene Levy) to deliver it. He begins his proposal by saying he wants to change their relationship, which has lost its spark. Michelle, having been with Jim for four years, understands him perfectly. In the crowded restaurant, she crawls under the table, exposing only her feet, and performs oral sex on Jim. What happens next? Of course, Jim’s dad arrives at the perfect moment, pulls his son out, sees him without pants, and yells, ignoring the waiters and other guests: “What’s wrong with your penis, son? What’s wrong with your penis?”
When the bride’s parents arrive after the engagement, accompanied by their two adorable dogs, the uninvited Stifler (Seann William Scott) shows up, and a cream cake appears on the table. Who can guess how to defuse the situation? Naturally, Stifler smears the cake all over himself and Jim, specifically in their nether regions, prompting the dogs to rush in and start licking. One dog licks so intensely that the other dog, being licked while standing, has to be dragged away by its legs, repeating specific movements just long enough for the door to open and reveal all the guests, worried about where the kids have disappeared to.
The Genius of Unwavering Commitment to the Absurd
The pelvic-thrusting humor itself isn’t the most remarkable aspect of this film by recent music video director Jesse Dylan. What’s truly impressive is how he never deviates from the tried-and-true formula. If the friends end up in a gay bar, they remain blissfully unaware until the very end. If prostitutes are hired for the bachelor party, complete with “S&M” and “French maid” attire, the bride’s parents will inevitably show up, and the scene won’t end until every last drop of humor has been squeezed out. The infamous Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) gets covered in chocolate, resembling something rather unpleasant, and hides in a kitchen cabinet, from which the bride’s father asks Jim to retrieve a platter for the turkey. The infamous Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), tied to a wheelchair in “S&M” gear, hides in a closet, from which the bride’s mother asks Jim to fetch a broom. After the brilliant idea that there are robbers in the house is announced, the “S&M” prostitute appears in a police uniform, leading to the bride’s father sniffing her discarded underwear. The client who organized the bachelor party at the gay bar is revealed to be wearing leather pants with a large cutout on the buttocks.
The Climax of Misanthropic Joy
And, of course, if Stifler enters a dark linen closet during the wedding to hook up with a bridesmaid, she won’t be there. Instead, Stifler accidentally sleeps with the groom’s elderly, wheelchair-bound grandmother, who was hidden in the closet for her sharp tongue. She’s so pleased that she waves at him throughout the wedding ceremony, which he dismisses, leading everyone to believe that the grandmother is recovering. Afterward, the groom, in a black tuxedo, and the bride, in a white crinoline dress, dance a beautifully lit waltz on an inlaid floor amidst lilies and roses. This isn’t just humor; it’s the meaning of life – every misanthrope deserves a tear of joy.
A separate point of achieved vegetative perfection (Jim, on Stifler’s advice, shaved his pubic hair, and the wind carried it directly to the wedding cake) is the visible inadequacy of almost everyone present. Even Seann William Scott (“Bulletproof Monk”) contorts his face so much that one can’t help but diagnose a pinched facial nerve. The other comedians also had to work hard to completely destroy the organic nature of the humor and match the degree of idiocy of their faces with the degree of idiocy of the text. “I call it smooching,” – “And what do you do when you’re not smooching?” – “Well, I wait until I can smooch,” they say with terrible grimaces, leaving no discrepancy between human appearance and physiological functions. It doesn’t matter that Alyson Hannigan has been advertising McDonald’s since she was four, it doesn’t matter that Jason Biggs just starred in a Woody Allen film. Here, he is the perfect example of a smiling simpleton! Here, she is the perfect example of dim-wittedness!
Overall, the creators of “The Wedding” are probably right in their misanthropy: “Viewers laugh because of the awkward situations the characters get into. And that’s because everyone has experienced similar situations. You can laugh out loud at our films.”