Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D: A Bloody Disappointment?
The opening scene throws us right into the chaos: a chainsaw-wielding maniac is chasing a terrified, blood-soaked blonde. This is one of the Sawyer family, whom the Texas police proceed to incinerate in their home with Molotov cocktails. A baby girl found at the scene is taken in by kind-hearted people.
Cut to a brunette in her twenties working at a deli, slicing meat. This is Heather, the rescued baby, all grown up. In her spare time, she paints – a detail that ultimately goes nowhere in the film. She also has a black boyfriend and a best friend who are secretly sleeping together. Out of the blue, Heather learns she’s inherited property from a grandmother she never knew. The truth about her adoption comes out. “You kept this from me!” she cries. “But your real family are monsters!” comes the reply, followed by the chilling revelation: “You were born with the cats!”
Heather and her friends head to her grandmother’s mansion in Texas, hoping to claim her inheritance and “sample the local barbecue.” It’s probably no spoiler to suggest who will be on the menu for the next hour of screen time. Soon, the friends encounter a maniac wearing a mask made of human skin, armed with a chainsaw, and lurking in the basement of the mansion. Heather must uncover a dark family secret about her connection to this terrifying figure. So, let the adventure begin!
A Franchise Gone Flat?
The title “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D” should inspire fear. However, this seventh installment in the franchise is likely to only scare middle schoolers. Director John Luessenhop (“Takers”) seems to have completely ignored all the sequels, prequels, and remakes that came before. The film’s marketing even positioned it as a direct sequel to Tobe Hooper’s iconic 1974 original. The result? “Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D” garnered overwhelmingly negative reviews, with critics calling the plot “laughable” and the 3D effects some of the worst ever. Moviegoers took to their blogs to declare “Leatherface is a loser.”
Box Office Success Despite Critical Failure
Despite the critical drubbing, the film managed to recoup its production costs in its opening weekend. A testament to the enduring appeal of the franchise, or just morbid curiosity?