Piranha 3D: A Bloody Good Time
Alexandre Aja, known for his horror remakes, has transformed Joe Dante’s “Piranha” into a 3D gore-fest of epic proportions. In this film, busty babes are devoured down to their silicone implants, and a porn director meets a particularly gruesome end. And no, it’s not his camera that gets the worst of it.
A tectonic shift unleashes a swarm of ravenous prehistoric piranhas from an underground lake. Simultaneously, a wild party is kicking off at Lake Victoria, with the main event being a wet t-shirt contest (“Dying to get wet”). A porn director, filming his latest masterpiece on a nearby yacht, is eager to capture all the action.
Alexandre Aja, the French director with the look of a Catholic saint, had lulled audiences into a false sense of security with his somewhat lackluster mystical horror film “Mirrors.” Now, he returns with a triumphant and literal adaptation of the phrase “food for the fishes,” which will likely become the defining work of his career.
The synopsis alone hints at the nature of the spectacle to come, and any lingering doubts are dispelled with the appearance of Eli Roth (as the host of the aforementioned wet t-shirt contest). However, Aja still manages to exceed all expectations. Grinding his extras into a bloody pulp with the gleeful and indifferent inventiveness of death from “Final Destination,” he himself is as insatiable as a cinematic piranha starved on a diet of bland remakes. So, even when a three-dimensional and slightly chewed-on appendage of the porn director floats before your eyes, know that it’s not over yet.
Fun Facts About Piranha 3D
- A remake of Joe Dante’s 1978 film “Piranha.”
- The sheriff’s son is played by Steven R. McQueen – the grandson of Steve McQueen.
- Richard Dreyfuss makes a cameo appearance as Matt Hooper, the character he played in Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws.”
- The film’s budget was $24 million.
- A sequel has already been announced, with Aja set to direct.
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Despite the seemingly chaotic nature of the film, “Piranha” operates on at least one clear rule, not invented by Aja: the chances of survival for scantily clad beauties are inversely proportional to the size of their breasts. For contrast, the director introduces a “human story” into the plot – about the sheriff and her teenage son. Instead of looking after his younger siblings, the boy goes to work as a guide on the director’s yacht, where he valiantly resists all the temptations of tequila, cocaine, and porn stars.
This blood-soaked, adolescent morality serves to excuse the viewers for the guilty pleasures they experienced during the film: yes, silicone doesn’t sink, but love conquers all. And strippers still only survive in Rodriguez’s films.