The return of Xander Cage is illogical and unnecessary. The story crafted for him is simplistic, his partners are bland, and the adversaries are entirely contrived. In the absence of quality ingredients, a rich fish soup fails to materialize, leaving only an empty broth.
The delicate balance of the world is once again disrupted. A mysterious organization has assembled a miniature transmitter capable of seizing control of orbital satellites, transforming these cosmic objects into dangerous weapons. The fall of one satellite even leads to the death of Agent Gibbons. NSA Agent Jane Marke turns to Xander Cage, an extreme athlete long presumed dead, to locate “Pandora’s Box.” However, the “Triple X” agent soon discovers that a group of cutthroats suspected of hijacking the satellites shares the same goal as Xander. The only difference is that Cage’s competitors know far more about who seeks to establish a new world order.
Vin Diesel’s return to the role of Cage in the third “xXx” film mirrors his journey in the “Fast & Furious” franchise, where he also starred in the first film, skipped the second, and then became the lead in the remaining installments.
The Unnecessary Return of Xander Cage
The original “xXx” was conceived as a launchpad for a new franchise, capable of supplanting the aging James Bond, at least initially. For the first film, the producers hired the director of “The Fast and the Furious” and the co-writer of “The Running Man.” For the sequel, they brought in the director of one of the James Bond films. Alas, the plan failed. The screenwriters only had enough fuel for a couple of awkward plot twists and utterly ridiculous, outdated threats involving the poisoning of Prague and the kidnapping of the American president – elements more suited to B-movies of the 1980s. Yes, thanks to Vin Diesel’s charisma, unconventional stunts, and lavish budget, the first film performed well at the box office (the sequel flopped spectacularly), but there was no sense of lasting potential. And now, 12 years later, the “xXx” franchise returns. But why?
If Tom Cruise hadn’t snatched the perfect subtitle for his “Jack Reacher 2” last year, the new “xXx” could have easily been titled “xXx: Never Go Back.” Simply because it’s unnecessary. To meet today’s audience expectations, you either meticulously build a franchise brick by brick, like Marvel, where everyone understands that only Thor or Hulk can handle new challenges, or you “invent” a hero for each specific threat, as with “Kingsman” – a total computerization requires a corresponding special agent opponent. Xander Cage, however, returns according to a different formula: here I am, I’ve arrived, let me save the world. But the film’s creators simply don’t have any real tasks for him.
Bollywood star Deepika Padukone, who played Serena, was originally supposed to make her Hollywood debut in “Fast & Furious 7,” but she couldn’t reconcile her schedule with the filming dates.
A Meaningless Mission
It’s utterly unclear from “Return of Xander Cage” why Cage and his quirky friends are needed to search for a box of radio parts. Is it really necessary to swim underwater on a motorcycle, shoot up a skyscraper in Detroit, or mow down a Philippine village with machine-gun fire? Or is it all just to show Diesel’s stunt doubles riding skateboards, water skis, and paragliders again? Well, that’s exactly what sunk the “Point Break” remake a year ago – the stunts are there, but they couldn’t connect them with a coherent script, neither then nor now.
In general, it’s very difficult to take the new “xXx” seriously from the start – the filmmakers made too many blunders and blatantly shoddy scenes. One moment, Cage is skiing through the jungle, the next, Donnie Yen’s character strikes heroic poses during a fight, as if deliberately exposing himself to bullets. The screenwriters concocted nonsense with masking thermal cannons and a fragile transmitter silencer, but the film “falls apart” on Diesel’s simple chain necklace, which, in “complete weightlessness,” clearly hangs down according to all the laws of gravity. No, most likely, the filmmakers enjoyed themselves on set, a couple of scenes (mostly computer-generated, of course) look interesting, but, as we all remember, the recent “Showdown in Manila” was also filmed with pleasure, and what was the result?
The Lack of New Heroes
One could forgive “Return of Xander Cage” a lot if the filmmakers had attempted to launch new heroes who would replace Diesel and go their own way. But, frankly, none of Cage’s new friends are fit to be “Agent XXX #1.” At least, a solo film about Serena, Adele, Nix, or Torch could only aspire to a “straight-to-video” status. Alas, Diesel is once again carrying the load alone, but now with the baggage of “Fast & Furious” and “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Why does he need this “world domination”? He already has everything.
The final battle of the film speaks volumes about the new “xXx.” In action movies of all levels, it’s customary to leave the audience with a situation where the main characters, overcoming colossal resistance, achieve the impossible, shifting the balance in their favor through personal heroism. Ironically, there’s none of that in “Return of Xander Cage.” Vin Diesel’s character dodges a couple of blows and escapes from a falling plane, while his friends are saved from death by a “deus ex machina” so falsely crammed into the plot that it makes you want to cry. Beyond a couple of stunts and jumps, mostly ridiculous and comical, nothing remains in the film. Thank you, we don’t need such “domination” for free. It’s time for “xXx” to retire.