ザ・ウッズ

With post-punk on the soundtrack, it just ends up feeling this clunky.

Saw it at an early screening a week ago and kept muttering "wow, wow" throughout the whole thing. My Xiao Si (nickname for the actor) finally played a handsome guy! Sure, he's all gothic, but that body is just *chef's kiss*. You can tell he really put in the work to get into shape. It's the kind of physique I love – not overly bulky, but with really beautiful definition. My favorite scene was definitely the opera house massacre, absolutely wickedly cult! And that raven makeup? Dare I say it's sexier than him without makeup? I'm not usually into gothic, but Xiao Si's refined face + that devilish vibe is just *perfect* for it. I heard some people say it doesn't live up to the original, but I haven't seen the original and don't plan to. Personally...

Truly befitting its status as one of the year's worst films, barely scraping $20 million at the box office. The added backstory in the first 40 minutes serves absolutely no discernible purpose. Eric and Sydney's background feels indistinguishable from a generic, cliché-ridden romance, and to make matters worse, the two leads share absolutely no chemistry. It was enough to put me to sleep. The movie is mostly self-indulgent drivel, with only two somewhat watchable不死杀 (undying?) action sequences. It culminates in a standard, tiresome "talking-down-the-boss" ending. The supposed gothic elements are absent; there's neither atmosphere nor substance. They only exist as Bill Skarsgård's tattoos, almost as if the film is self-consciously acknowledging its own superficiality. And Danny Huston's portrayal of a generic old white male villain is just... predictable and uninspired.

It's not a complete disaster, but the action sequences are definitely underwhelming. The final opera house set piece isn't anything to write home about either. This type of action setup has become quite commonplace, and the back-and-forth between the opera performance and the action actually prevents the audience from fully enjoying either. It's basically just some blood and gore thrown in for good measure.

I strongly urge everyone to check out the 1994 film version, the original comic book (both the 1989 and 1999 editions), and the 1998 television series. Eric and Shelly are a couple I deeply cherish, and I often revisit their story. However, this adaptation is a blatant insult to them both. I don't understand the need to shoehorn in a rehab meeting or Shelly's involvement with the final boss - these are completely unnecessary alterations. In other adaptations and the original source material, they weren't even acquainted with these characters before the tragic events. Furthermore, this version lacks the gothic atmosphere and feel entirely, ultimately, it's just a failed re-imagining.

"In the eerie atmosphere of 1960s New England, 'The Woods' weaves a mysterious tale that entwines a troubled girl's dark past with the sinister forces lurking in the woods. The isolated girls school, meant to be a haven, instead becomes a site of supernatural occurrences that blur the lines between reality and fantasy, making for a chilling exploration of adolescent angst and the unexplained."